Focus on the Dash

A long while ago I heard a story and though I can't remember the exact details (I guess I could google it), what I do remember is that the story included a birth date and a death date, but the story focused on the dash in the middle.  It's not when we're born that matters, nor does it matter really in the scheme of things when we die.  What matters the most is how we live our life in between.

I haven't always had a great outlook on this.  I can't honestly say that I have a great outlook on this now.  I spend too much time looking back or looking ahead and never really focusing on looking at the present.  They say looking back is called regret and looking ahead is called anxiety.  I get it.  I really do, but that doesn't mean that I'm always very good at remembering it.  It's something I struggle with.

At 19, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.  Added Generalized Anxiety Disorder to that a few years ago and this year, to complete the "I have no idea what is going on in my head" trifecta, my doctor added the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder.  Let me tell you, folks, no matter what my life looks like on the outside, on the inside it's a damn struggle, but I know it can be better and that's part of what this blog is all about for me.

This blog is a place for me to examine things; a place where I can brain dump; a place where I can react to what I've read, to what I've seen; a place where I can focus on the inside.

The question may come about why I chose to do this publicly and the truth is, I learn so much from so many people that I encounter on the internet, I just want to be one of those voices.  A place someone who is struggling may happen upon and realize that they're not alone.  A place to realize that most of what is shared on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter is the best version of our lives but not the real life we're living.  I don't know about you, but I'm not on Facebook when I'm having a depressive episode, when life feels so hard that even getting out of bed is impossible.  So, here I am.  I don't know that if the perspective that I offer will be so different from anything else.  All I know that this is me.  Unfiltered.  Unrestrained.  This is the inside.